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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2017|01:14 pm]
It makes me sad that YOU ARE TOO SHALLOW to appreciate ANASAZI.

It taught me how to survive, so KILL yourself with a glass mirror and mutilate those blue eyes trying to save your beauty. Have you graduated college yet?

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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2017|10:35 pm]
Love never ends- it only changes.

Please know that I will ALWAYS love you.
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2017|09:26 pm]
Lets pretend we are still kids...

do you ever do that?

How would we react to ourselves?
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(no subject) [Sep. 25th, 2016|09:22 pm]
Thank you for the hug. For biting that awkward bullet and being the bigger man. For ending the mental obsession. My high school crush seems only comparable to an alcoholic thinking of a drink. That is the context in which I use the term obsession.

We may grow older, but we never seem to grow up. Life for me has just been passing phases. I like and seeing the changes. I like growth, even when it's painful.

Freedom is the ability to wake up each morning and make choices. Freedom not worry about my purse running out. Freedom is the ability to move on, around, or into something else when necessary.

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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2015|07:21 pm]

Fucking finally
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(no subject) [Feb. 16th, 2015|11:05 am]
I stalked you online. Consider it flattering.

"A Nikon D60, iPhone 5, and a girl with a Navajo on a skateboard"

An iPad, a fire crotch, and a girl with a Wetback and a Weiner dog.

Was it Yelp that you used to continuously post about your fiance? Good for you. I want to make amends and be there to celebrate with you. I love you so much that I want you happy, even if that is not with me.

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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2014|03:50 pm]
I am engaged.
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(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2014|08:03 pm]
I will always reminisce our long since forgotten friendship on Halloween. Always.

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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2014|10:52 am]
I am sorry for my drunken calls to you. I do not remember most of them. They were completely uncalled for.

I am sorry for the cruel and violent actions that I took when you moved out. That was unfair.

I am sorry for analyzing you. Saying things that I felt that should never have been said.

I am glad you have enough respect for yourself to not want a friendship with me. That is healthy.

I want to take responsibility for what I did wrong and apologize to you for each and every one of those things.

I made many drunken mistakes, and calling you is one of them. I hurt you because I either antagonize you or I just truly want you to know that I am sorry.

I will not contact you again. I have changed my number, and I did not save yours.

I do not want a relationship with you again. The only thing I want with you is peace. If I ever run into you in public I would only like to smile with you, for a symbol as what once was and to continue on our separate paths.

I wish you and Will the best.
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(no subject) [Oct. 9th, 2014|10:18 am]
Every time I try to log onto Livejournal it says my password is invalid. I blame you, for you did it before. Also, every time the language on my page is reset to Spanish, which I have never done. That part is easy to fix since I speak Spanish.

Detox. Sober living house. Rehab. Intensive outpatient program. I completed all of them, just waiting for the date to leave and try to "control" the use.

Each time an intense relapse. This time I made my longest progress, 50 days while living with my mom. It only took that long of being cooped up in her house before I took my credit card and split from Chicago late at night. More exiting than returning home to Arizona was knowing that I could get drunk at the airport and on the plane. It only took a few days before I woke up on an old friends couch with pierced nipples sleeping in his clothes. At least I know without asking that he gave them to me so I wouldn't have to be smashed on his couch in a green tutu style skirt in thigh highsocks and a thong.

Then what? I was drunk and He wouldn't let me leave to run away to buy more booze and run away to Texas? After that, chasing guys on Craigslist for sexual gratification in return for cash. I don't remember if I got bored waiting on responses or if I was just too drunk to know that I couldn't care for myself. I walked back to His apartment to try sleeping under his car where he found me on the way home from jail. He was taken in to resolve the domestic dispute. Why wasn't I the one taken? Feminism was not at work here.

He sobered me up. Loved me as He always has. He deserves better than me. Love is tricky. Start the clock back. One day at a time. Easier said than done. But that doesn't mean it is impossible. He we go... another fucking time.
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